Looking back and looking forward

As the year ends and the new year rolls around I look back and breathe.  I made it through a really rough year!  I am amazed that I am able to put things into thoughts, since there is so much going on in my head.  So as I try to put my thoughts down please forgive me of my randomness and jumping all over.

I had to take Rhett into the doctors before Christmas his breathing was increased, he maxed out on his oxygen at 4 liters on his tank and 5 liters on his machine at home, and even with the breathing treatment it didn't help much.  The doctor decided to put him on antibiotics we are hoping that the antibiotics help kill whatever is making him struggle more than normal.

Found out while I had Rhett at the doctors office that Nikole had or has a bladder infection again.  I was frustrated since the test was done in November and I never heard anything.  Normally isn't it: "No news is good news"?  Whatever I plan on following up to the point of harassment if this continues since the doctor wasn't sure how they even missed that to begin with.  She just finished her antibiotics and I pray that will be the end but I highly doubt that since we all know that when you are in school you don't have the freedom to use the bathroom as you like.  Well she does because of a health care plan, but like she actually will use that privilege. Yeah Right!!  At least the pills she took were horse sized and that usually dissuades her from wanting to take them again.  LOL!!

Hi-ho hi-ho back to the doctors we go!

Gavin was lucky to get sick the weekend after Christmas if being sick is lucky.  Vomiting most the day Saturday and coughing like crazy through the weekend.  Lucky child has a virus and we have to pray it goes away so he doesn't get anything else on top of this to share with his siblings.

Dylan was also a lucky little man and got an ear infection over the weekend too!  He is now on antibiotics and I am praying it goes away with this medicine so I don't have to take him back to the doctors for a while.  I mean I like the doctor and all but gosh it would be nice not to see him on a monthly basis.  At least after some ibuprofen and some numbing drops he was able to sleep through the night Saturday and cough like crazy the rest of the weekend.

The last visit to the doctors this year thanks to Gavin and Dylan.  They certainly know how to send off the year and welcome a new year.  Ok boys pull it together so we can get through the month of January without making unscheduled doctor visits.  I think I can, I think I can....

As I look forward to a new year I am planning on changing my outlook and I am planning on accomplishing so much more.  I would love to go into details but it will have to be a surprise, since I haven't set it up yet and I am not in the thick of it yet.  I can't wait to get started!  I am almost excited seeing what I can do to make this next year so much better.  One goal I have is to blog every week since things get a little busy, but I am planning on at least once a week updating the blog so that way I can keep you informed on my progress and I hope that by doing so encourages me to be better.

I hope you all have a very Happy New Year!!!

Why people?!?!? Judgments need to stop!!!

I have felt like this often and I deal with it almost daily. Don't press your luck if you are dealing with me.

Don't underestimate me!

I will come out on top!!!

Seriously?  What I thought was a kind gesture a few years ago turned into a knife into the heart.  How come people think that it is ok for them to be judgmental towards others, by their standards?  I am by no means perfect but I try really hard not to judge others if I have not walked in their shoes.  I know what it feels like to be judged and it isn’t pleasant.  I look at it this way…. Is it my place to be critical or disapproving towards others? No!!! Why be negative towards others when you have yourself to take care of?  I just don’t understand why people would what to be hypercritical and condemnatory towards their fellow men?!?!?!  Maybe it is just me, but I think that is just wrong.

Yes I can use all the FRIENDS I can get.

After hearing that the help I got on my birthday a few years ago was only to see how I am doing, and they went and told people that I did nothing but sit there, when I was sorting laundry for everyone in the house?!?!?!  REALLY????  Do they have any idea what I face on a daily basis???? NO!!!!  Do they comprehend the drama that is brought into my house due to medical strain, teenagers, and addictions?????  NO, THEY DON’T HAVE A CLUE!!!!!!!  Why did they say something so damaging???  What would cause them to say that????  I don’t think that even stopped to consider how it would affect me and my family.  I often wonder if people are so worried about others to not even think that what they are saying is going to have a damaging effect on anyone.  Well they couldn’t be more wrong!!!  I don’t need people like that in my life.  I have too much I have to deal with and I choose to not deal with that!!!

Please be more understanding, and if you can't you deal with it, everyone has problems.

When you are dealing with so much that your mind never stops running then you might be able to give your opinion but if it is degrading to others don’t bother opening your mouth.  Keep that stuff to yourself.  Work it out in your heart since there is going to be no good coming from it if you share it with others.

Yes this is easier said than done.  It is hard work and you need to give people credit for facing the problems that they have and not allowing their lives get swept away.

Almost I can hardly stand it!!!

First I have to apologize...   I totally went on a rant last post and I feel horrible about it.  I just needed to get it all out.  I hope that I have not hurt anyone with my words and thoughts.  I have learned that we are all entitled to our feelings and we need to have a chance to feel them.  I am still learning how to feel everything I need to in order to get better.  I am not here to judge people and I hope that no one is out there judging me, but if they do that is their problem and they will have to deal with it.  I am not here to make people feel bad for me and my family, but I need to get information out to family that live far away and often times they are tied to how I am dealing with it.  I feel like I have been doing my best but I know that I far from perfect. Again I am sorry for going off on a rant.

The bathroom is almost finished.  We have worked hard trying to get it to the point that we have a working toilet and shower.  I can say I am grateful for the out pouring from people that have been willing to help us. I know that by Saturday our bathroom will be back to fully functional!!!  I will post some pictures when it is complete, so you can see from beginning to end.  I am excited to show you all the pictures that I have taken through this whole process but I am saving the pictures until it is finished so that way I didn't feel discouraged about how long it was taking.

I hope everyone has a fantastic day!!!