Eek! Down one month, missed a week

How is it that January is so very overwhelming for me?  I think it is because I am stressed and have so much to do.

Thirteen years ago a little girl was placed in my arms.  She was the first baby I was able to hold right after delivery.  She had so much hair and it was completely black.  She had such long fingers and toes.  I can't believe how she has changed and has grown over the years.  She is officially as tall as me!!!  How did I get to be short?

She decided to go to the temple with her friends that morning.

Last weekend was quite stressful for me, between birthdays, work, and kids.  I was so glad when this past week was over and done. (Oh I have to give a shout out, for my birthday I was blessed with the picture below.)

I know you are all jealous.

My friend Jen gave me a tour of her camper that is for sale $6000 and if you are interested let me know I am hopefully going to get some pictures from her to put up here so you can see her beautiful work and effort she has put into.  Thanks Jen!  Loved talking with you, it has been so long and it was good to touch base again.

Gratefully this past week went a little faster even though we has several appointments that popped up. Rhett and Nikole had to get into the orthodontist since it has been a long time since they had seen them, NOT MY FAULT.  I was totally too sick to take them until recently.  But now they are back on their schedule and that is a good thing.  Nikole and Dylan had their well child this past week and they are both healthy and doing well. (SO TOTALLY JEALOUS!!)  Grateful they are not sick anymore.

This Saturday I had that privilege to spend time with my friend Crystal.  It was great getting out and being among the living.  Yes, still coughing but not nearly as bad at I was coughing.  At least I am making some progress in the healthy direction.  We wondered around and talked lots.  It is amazing how much you need to catch up on with people you care for and love when you don't see them often. She asked me to play this game with her that was TOTALLY AWESOME!!!!  It is called GLOOM.

Card game.  A must have!

It was so much fun! 

As we played it was entertaining watching her dogs with the little puppy they are working on training to be a service dog for their son Nicky.  Her name is Addie and she is learning basic behavior and social skills, the two other dogs are so patient with her. She came up and laid at my feet while we were playing it was so cute!  Wish we could have a puppy, but then I think of Rhett's allergies and the doctors cursing my name.  JOY!  Anyway I got a text from Crystal today that was gut wrenching... "Addie got hurt."  I held my breath waiting for an explanation that came a few minutes later, "She was trying to rush outside and got tripped over. She was hollering a lot, but she settled down. Now she is whining and limping."  I told Crystal she probably needs to go the vet seeing how this is Nicky's service dog.  She took her to the vet and ended up getting an x-ray done.  So this evening I get a picture via text of the x-ray.

See the broken bone?

As I was about to send a text back asking how much that is going to cost to fix I get this text, "$3000+" WHAT!!!!!  Crap!!!  This is Nicky's service dog and his best friend! As I am thinking all this  I get this other text, "Possible amputation."

As I am here heart broken since I was just there yesterday watching this little puppy play and run around with the kids and other dogs.

So tonight I set up a gofundme for them to help pay the medical expenses since there is no way they can get all that money right now. I wish I could do more to help someone that was there for me when I needed help on my bathroom.  If you can please help here that would be wonderful!

http://gofundme.com/l926k4

I know it isn't much but it is something.  I am not sure what this month holds but I am hoping that it is something in the right direction.

UPDATE!!!

Crystal posted this... early this morning.
"They sedated Addie and got a better x-ray. They are confident that they can save her leg with a plate. She should go into surgery this morning."

Later she updated.......

"Thank you for all the kindness and love you've all shown us through this difficult time. I was so sad this morning when the kids found their shoes where they belong, instead of where Addie hid them. She is going to be ok, and will be home tomorrow. We will take Nicky to visit her after school"

Thank you all for helping!

It all started as an "OH NO!" and turned into a disaster

Written 10-29-14

It all started as an oh no and turned into a disaster.

Our toilet was leaking into our basement and destroying the floor in the process.  So we decided that we had to do something and that meant pulling out the leaking toilet and repair the damaged floor and put new floor and toilet down. (FYI if you ever redo a bathroom you might want to keep in mind that it would be helpful to have a second bathroom.)  Oh as we were pulling things out like the vanity and the toilet we were sad to see that there was so much more damage than expected.  We had to take the tub out in order to go under that to make sure we got all the bad wood out.  It was disheartening to see just how much we were really going to have to do in order to make the bathroom decent again.

Gratefully my parents have been willing and able to help me by letting all of my kids stay with them.  My parents are the best!!!  They get all my kids up and out the door. My dad even takes Rhett and Dylan to school since they go to schools that are a long ways away and the buses only pick up them up at my house.  My mom takes Nikole and Gavin to school. It helps completely that she works at the school that Gavin attends. 

If this couldn’t be worse we just add to it.  

We pulled everything out Saturday and Sunday and by Wednesday we still didn’t have a floor.  After a rough weekend without kids and a bathroom, since this is our only bathroom right now, I was grateful for the week to start.  As I was headed out of the house Monday morning I get a call from a debt collector on my cell phone for a $47 bill from IHC Homecare Bountiful.  I was in tears!  I couldn’t even understand why all this was happening to my family.  It would be different if I didn’t have to deal with all the multiple thing that I have to continually juggle.  So after a day and talking to my husband about bills that we need to pay, I called IHC.  Let’s just say some people were more helpful than others.  I finally got in touch with a manager over accounts at IHC and the financial assistants.  She was downright mean!  I tried to explain to her that we are really struggling and to be getting multiple bills and when they all cover each other it make it really hard to keep track of them all.  She told me that I should make a spreadsheet and good luck.  I tried to tell her that I get bills from several places that are all on payment plans, not including the major payment plan for my two surgeries and Rhett one surgery.  I informed her that because I work and my husband works we don’t qualify for help from anywhere.  We own a duplex that we rent out and it covers the mortgage so my boys are not covered by Medicaid and they won’t be because of that.  I let her know that we have already gotten help once this year with medical bills for the boys from Angel's Hands Foundation

I have calculated that I get a bill from the OB, IHC homecare Bountiful, IHC homecare SLC, IHC clinic, U of U, Neurology learning and behavior, orthodontist, and Anesthesiologist for my surgeries and the boys.  Yep you counted right that is at least 8 bills because of the multiple bills that I get from IHC.  That is several payment plans and payments every month.  When I told her that we have met our out of pocket max (which is $8000) and starting in January it is going to go back to $0 and we will have to start all over with everything.  Those payment plans are just going to increase.  Right now our big payment plan from the hospitals are about $4000 and the payments are about $160 every month.  With all those other bills it is at the minimum of $25 every month.  But there are at least 8 bills listed so I would be paying $200 for those 8 other bills plus $160 that makes it $360 every month.  Oh and if any other balances are added to the balance that we have now they are going to increase the payment in order to pay it off in 6-12 months.  Not included in this is the orthodontist bill.  I told them that I will pay them when I can and they are great at working with me on that.

 

I tried to tell this manager on the phone but I get this response, ‘Well even if they were all on the payment plan we would have the payments really high in order to pay it off in 6-12 months’. After talking with this woman on the phone I was almost in tears.  She said well sorry we cannot help you.

At that point I was trying so hard not to just break down and cry.  It made me want to regret having my kids.  HOW DARE THAT WOMAN DO THAT TO ME!!!!!  My kids are treasures and should be cherished not regretted.  Why would she do something like that?  I have not eaten in days I just feel sick to my stomach.

I thought about apologizing to the woman that I talk to saying…. “I am so sorry that I gave birth to my children who have medical needs and will have to fight to pay the medical bills.  I know that if I had adopted them they would always be covered by Medicaid.”  Just writing this today I chocked down some instant breakfast praying that it stays down.

This whole situation is too much.  I need help and I am not even sure where to go for help.

Today-

I am still not back to "normal" if that is what you call it.  I can eat but not lots and not often. My favorite food that doesn't make me sick is sushi.  LOL!  I know land locked state and that is a favorite.  My bathroom is still nonexistent. We are barely hanging on with all the money issues that we have.  I have had to put this whole bathroom on a credit card, I mean heck let me check my pockets do I have $4000 to fix everything that needed to be fixed in my bathroom? Uh no.  So in order to have a toilet and a tub working that is what was needed.  At least I can see that we might have a working bathroom before next weekend which would be the best thing ever after having none for over a month.

I am still unsure how I feel about so much. I am working on trying to figure out how I feel and why I feel that way. I think that will take sometime, and that it is going to be hard for me since I am not use to doing that very much.  Is everything in life hard? I would hope not.

I am so grateful for Crystal and Jared Hess that came over to my house and helped with the tub taking out business and the tiling of the wall business.  They are a huge blessing!!!  Thank you ever so much!!!!!! Crystal has been getting my boys after school and taking them to my parent house for me because I can't and the buses don't bus them there. I believe that it is stressful for her to do that for me but I am so grateful.

It is now almost December and my mom called to find out what we are getting the kids for Christmas.  I told her that I am not getting anything.  I just put a bathroom in my house that is all I can do for this year.  She asked if my spouse was going to get anything.  I told her that I didn't know.  I think she is frustrated too.  I completely understand.

I was thinking the other day that it is a miracle that I am as sane as I am right now. There is so much going on in my life that could cause me to lose it completely but thankfully to the music I am listening to it is somehow keeping me grounded.  I know you will think it is weird but it is what is holding me together right now. Thank you Kim Hyun-Joong and SS501(Triple S)!!  I have been listening over and over. Even if it is the same songs and the fact that I don't understand everything being said, but it is so relaxing to me.  His music and their music have touched something in me that I didn't even know about until I heard it. This is just one of the many that I love to hear. I know Jan Hernandez would crack up reading this, but she is introduced me to this music. Thanks Jan!!! :)

Just the other day when I took Rhett to the Cardiologist he did a 6 minute walk test and came out with really high blood pressure.  So now the cardiologist is referring him to a Nephrology (the branch of medical science that deals with the kidney) doctor.  Now we have another doctor to add to the list of lists.  But the doctor was wondering if there is something going on with his kidneys, since the main reason for having high blood pressure in children is linked to the kidneys.  So we are having lab work done the beginning of December and the middle of December we are seeing the kidney doctor.  But what I don't understand is that if it says something about this syndrome affecting the kidneys, why hasn't anyone wanted to check it out before?  Oh wait maybe that is because they just found out what the boys have in March.  Even so it says so right there in print:

Short Rib-Polydactyly Syndrome Type 2 An autosomal recessive lethal skeletal dysplasia (OMIM:263520) characterised by markedly short ribs, short limbs, polydactyly and multiple anomalies including a narrow thorax with hypoplastic lungs, extreme polysyndactyly, dysproportionate dwarfism, median cleft lip and palate a ventricular septal defect and cystic Kidneys.

Imaging
Shortened and horizontal ribs, squared scapulae and elevated clavicles with lateral kinking, normal spine and pelvis configuration, and shortening of the bones of all four extremities, with extreme reduction of tibial bone length.

Molecular pathology
Defects in NEK1, which encodes and enzyme thought to have a role in controlling meiosis and cilia assembly, cause short rib- polydactyly syndrome type 2.

All of that is found here: http://medical-dictionary.thefreedictionary.com/short+rib-polydactyly+syndrome,+Majewski+type

But now I question it because everywhere I look the infants have died at birth or right after.  I understand that they told me that Rhett would die after he was born, but I refused to accept that since I was so very sick with him.  But I figured out that the chances of having a child with SRPS are .0075%.  So that got me thinking and I am not wondering "HOW THE HECK I ENDED UP WITH TWO?" according to the doctors.  If it is really that rare how did that happen and how are they still alive?  I will be in contact with the genetics office this week to get the boys in to discuss this whole thing.  The appointment will probably be months away because that is how doctors roll.

I am seriously thinking of starting a fundraiser to help cover the medical costs that we have. My sister said she would help..... I wonder.  I think that would help me destress, even if it a little, and I think that might help Rhett not try to turn blue to because he doesn't want to pay for oxygen.  HAHAHA!  You would think it is free.  I told him that I didn't have to pay for it since he was changing tanks often.  But in my opinion he shouldn't have to worry about how much money his medical needs cost.

What the HECK!!!

Oh boy I am so mad it isn't even funny. I just found out this most awful news. That the school that Dylan attends JMS(Jean Massieu School) and USDB(Utah School for the Deaf and Blind) might be closed and that is all because of the budget! They can't think of anything else to do away with they have to go after education. What the CRAP ARE THEY THINKING!!!!!

Here is the article that is in the new:

Schools for deaf and blind may be cut from education budget

February 7th, 2011 @ 6:08pm

By Marc Giauque

SALT LAKE CITY -- A legislative appropriations committee on Tuesday will talk about closing the Utah Schools for the Deaf and Blind, as well as several other options as they look for ways to further trim the budget.

The proposal doesn't sit well with parents whose children attend these specialized schools.

The idea would be to shift the services currently being provided by the schools to individual districts. It's one of the items being floated by the Utah School Board as it tries to find a way to cut $20 million from its budget.

"We made many recommendations before this one was made," said School Board Chairwoman Deborah Roberts, "but we still have a lot of session left."

"Some very good, very important things may be left by the wayside. That is the reality of not having the funding to do the things you need to do." -School Board Chairwoman Deborah Roberts

Roberts said a great deal of study would have to be put into the idea before any real action was taken.

But Roberts also said they have to look at all options, as they've been tasked with ways to further cut their budget. "None of these cuts are good," Roberts said. "None are wise. "

Many parents of students attending these schools are concerned about the future of their children's education.

"This is my kid and this is my child's education that potentially they're going to flush down the toilet," said Heather Frost, whose son attends one of the schools.

Frost believes it simply would not be cost effective for the district to pick up the services the state school currently provides. "How are they going to provide orientation and mobility, audiology instruction, ASL (American Sign Language) instruction, expanded core curriculum, interpreters or brail?"

The program has been dealing with some in-fighting over how hearing-impaired students are taught. Some of that battle has risen to the level of the School Board.

Roberts said that has weighed on some board members' decisions to take a second look at the program -- but she said if the Board has to make further cuts, they simply have to return to the core of what they do. She said that means providing the state curriculum for all K-12 children.

"Some very good, very important things may be left by the wayside," she said. "That is the reality of not having the funding to do the things you need to do."

E-mail: mgiauque@ksl.com

Here is the link if you would prefer:

http://www.ksl.com/index.php?nid=148&sid=14294290

I just want to scream I am so mad. Dylan just started this last month. But I have been fighting the state and the district for education for Rhett since 1st grade and nothing, I can't get any help from them. Holy cow! I thought that all children are given equal opportunity to have a education. With what they are trying to pull it is going to do so much damage!

Since kids are the future they should all be getting a education so they can be able to move this country forward in a good direction. If we don't give them the education they deserve then what is going to happen to them down the road?

I could really use some great ideas. Please send this to everyone you know people have a right to know what is going on here. Please keep us in your prayers that we will over come this stupidity and help our children not hurt them.