Monday, May 28, 2012

The things said

So this might sound like a little rant but this has really been bothering me and I am sure I am not the only person out there that feels this way.

I am not perfect but I try my best to treat others the way that I would want them to treat me and my kids.  Here is the point...

If you have mean things to say DON'T!!!  Yes I know you are entitled to your own opinion and that is great, but why don't you think before you open your mouth?  Think how is this going to affect the other person.  There is a good chance that you don't know what is going on in their life right now, or you are not sure how they are handling everything that they have to in balance.

I know I have been hurt several times by people ranging from family to total strangers not thinking before they speak and really hurting me.  They will never know how much they have hurt me because I refuse to stoop to their level and let them know they have hurt me.  I know they don't mean to be hurtful to me, but that doesn't make the hurt go away.  There are lots of people that just do not understand that when they open their mouth and say what they want they are bound to hurt someone.  They think that it is something that needs to be heard, but most of the time that isn't the case.

I know that this also applies to me but I am trying to keep my opinions to myself and then if someone asks then I will share but until that person actually asks too bad I refuse to share.  I don't want to hurt others like I have been hurt.

This also applies to parents teaching their kids on the correct things to say.  I have seen several kids come up and ask me(usually) and Rhett(sometime) point blank, "What is wrong with him/you?"  He looks at me with a broken heart.  I turn point blank doesn't matter what age the child is or adult, "There is nothing wrong with him what is wrong with you?"  I know mean but get it through your head!  This boy has been through so much and he thought you were his friend until you opened you mouth and didn't think about asking why he has oxygen, or why he is shorter than normal kids his age.

You should teach your kids how to approach someone with a disability and ask questions appropriately.  I know I have done that with my kids and I correct them often  and we go over situations where I might not be with them but if they are curious and want to ask questions ask them with the feels of the person they are talking to in mind so they do not cause unnecessary heart ache.

Going on with my little rant...

Even if you think you might have the persons best interest in mind understand you do not know them as well as you might like to believe you do.  I am tired of defending myself from all the closed minded peoples attacks verbally.  I understand that we are all human but please think before you speak.  Even if you know the persons background and you know what is going on in their life it still gives you no excuse to say anything you want to them even if you think it will make them feel better.  Well guess what it doesn't help and it makes the person you are talking to feel horrible!!!  Often times I just want people to let me know that they care, I don't want pity or drama from them

I let people know what is going on in my life so that way my sister and brother stay informed and that is the only reason if I help others that it great.  They both live so far away and it easier for me to just put everything here so they know what is going on since I normally have so much going on that it can be hard keeping track of everything.

On a different note I have had a few people ask me how I handle everything all the time.  It really isn't that hard.  Either I laugh or cry but if I start crying I never stop.  I put a smile on my face so no one knows what is going on, and trust me I am a great actress.  I only go day by day.  I am thankful that I am able to get up in the morning and to be able to get things done that I need to do.

Hope everyone has a great day!

2 comments:

Stacey Stone said...

Hey Andrea, Hope I haven't been one of those people. I've talked to Nate about you quite a bit, and told him that I don't know how you do it, because I've dealt with quite a bit less than you have, and you are handling it better than I have. I know we do what we have to, but i think everyone has a breaking point, and I'm come too close to mine. Hang in there, considering everything, I think you're doing pretty darn good.

Andrea said...

Stacey, No you are not one of those people. No one that knows my family treats my family this way but it just came up and had to vent about it since it just seems to happen over and over again and I just needed to get it off my chest. If you need a break let me know and we will have to get together just the 2 of us and go have fun. :)

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